missing mom (again)

Hi, Mommy…. It is good to talk to you this way. So.. you should understand what I am saying, okey. I know you good in English too that I never know. Yes, I have ever heard you talk to the mister bule when I was a little girl. It was really long time ago. Yes. It was too long to not remember it. It was the time when this town so much wealthy. There were many foreigners here to increase our income, here, in our country. It happened before the economic condition in this country collapse. Was that right, Mom?? Oh my god what I was talking about. Do you understand that, Mom. I know you do. Right? But let us not to talk about the hard thing like that. I just need a little rest to just talk about chips thing. Easy and simple.

Mom… I know u know me missing you all the time. Of course, Mommy. It was taking almost eleven years since you closed your eyes forever. I didn’t remember the date, and I didn’t want to remember when I cried so much loud that I couldn’t let you go from my life, from our family’s life. Without you this family never be perfect. U made it be. But you went there, catching up with my lil sister who went first. I hope you two had met there and live well waiting us to be one as a family in heaven.

Mom… do you remember your little cute son, the only son u dreamed forever to have? He was in his 13^th now, 14^th in this year, the age of mine when you left us. Lemme tell you a little thing about him. You know, Mom. He grew up so fast, he almost like a man.. but I thought he never felt that way. Yeah, I know. He was the youngest, and he always act like kids all the time, though. Sometimes I cried for him to never have your kindness of mother soul, was that pity as I thought? Whatever. I love him, though. I also love my lil sister who grew faster than me. I love them till death. And I don’t want you to be sad to let us go, I know I can have a strength to make them live well. I promised, Mom.

Well, Mom.. have I ever said I love you directly? No? yes.. I never did, right? I know, Mom. I didn’t have that chance anymore. But I know you could hear me as well as you hear me begging for something I want and I yelled at the world till you made my wishes come true. Yes, Mom. I wanted to say I love you. So I miss you.. thank you for the whole life of yours to raise me up till I have a good life like this. I knew I just can have you for a little while. But you would be in my heart forever. I love you.